This wasn’t taken at THAT wedding,
but it is a picture of me at a wedding.

In 2010 I was ordained as a minister in the Independent Christian Church and for several years I had an ad out on Craigslist as a pastor that could marry couples, for relatively cheap might I add! If you ever find yourself as an ordained pastor, let me tell you…Craigslist weddings can be some of the weirdest and best experiences of your life!

Everyone who has ever been married, or has ever gone to a family member’s wedding will tell you that one of the least fun parts of a wedding is the inevitable “Family Drama Moment.” Well, when you do a wedding for complete strangers you meet on Craigslist, your FAVORITE parts of the wedding are the Inevitable Family Drama Moments!

In fact, I am not going to lie…It got to the point when I was officiating Craigslist Weddings that I would play the game “Find the Family Drama Moment.” Sometimes it was small, sometimes it was huge, and there was always something. Seriously, play this game at the next wedding you attend and thank me in the comments later!

So let me set the scene for you…I met the soon to be married couple at a Waffle House in Hendersonville, TN for our “Pre wedding talk.” This is usually where I get all the details of what I should say, how I should introduce them, the order of the service, etc. I also take a point to always ask them to tell me their love story, so that I can learn some special details that will make for good addons to the message I’ll be sharing at the wedding.

I knew it was going to be a good wedding when I asked, “Tell me your love story?” and the Groom looked at his Pregnant Bride To Be and simply said, in a very melancholy tone, “Welp…Babies change everything.”

Welp…I knew I couldn’t share THAT when I told their love story at the wedding…

So the wedding came and went, and while I was expecting something terrible and terrific, nothing dramatic happened. Everyone showed up, was civil, went to their places, the marriage part happened, and there I was at the end, waiting to sign the marriage certificate and get paid.

I even started to judge myself a little. “Shame on you Drew for just ASSUMING these nice people would have some kind of issue at their wedding based on how they look or sound.”

It almost was a real personal growth moment for me. But then it happened…

As I am standing to the side waiting for the happy…ish couple, these are the words I heard.

(With some “creative spelling” to avoid offensive curse words to potentially young or innocent readers)

“Well, Golly Gee Mary Lu…it’s just Sweet Potatoes. You don’t have to be such a (d)itch about it!”

One old lady said to another.

“Oh hell nah!” The other responded, “Ain’t nobody going to cuss at my baby boy’s wedding!”

And then the next thing I saw was Mary Lu taking off her earrings and nice shoes, as the other woman did the same. Then the two women, who I learned later were the mothers of the groom and bride, entered in a fist fight over sweet potatoes and cussing. They were about three or four punches in before the pregnant bride had to swiftly waddle through the crowd of friends and family to jump between the mothers and break up this fight at her own wedding.

And that’s the story about the time I saw a pregnant lady break up a fight at her own wedding!



What’s the craziest thing you have ever seen at a wedding? Do you have a fun wedding story? Feel free to share in the comment section!


Drew

Drew Davis is a standup comedian, comedy writer and professional speaker from Nashville TN.

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